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6) Make sure YOU don’t move or have your fat black fingers in front of the lens when you push the button. (priceless tip: push the button down halfway, wait for a clicky sound, and then push it all the way in - this is the BIG photography secret that professionals don’t want you to know.)

7) Take TONS of photos of the same thing and then only use the good ones where the bird or the queer wasn’t blinking.

You’re done. You’re a fucking photographer. See how easy that is? That’s because it’s for JERKOFFS.